Handparting

In 2008 I was married through a self written Handfasting.It was a beautiful but simple ceremony, but this isn't about handfasting, this is about handparting. While my wedding was awesome I don't feel qualified to give advice on handfasting, after all how much meaning did any of it actually hold since it didn't work out? My marriage didn't last long, only a year and a half. In time I learned not to regret the marriage itself, but to view it as a learning experience.  Which was a difficult thing in and of itself.

While through the preparations for out marriage, we were great at writing our handfasting, what we never did once things fell apart was a formal handparting. My ex stopped seeing the world through a pagan world view and found he was really more of an atheist, so a handparting was unnecessary to him. I however, even after months of living without him, still felt the bond pulling me to him. I was nearly ready to move on but part of my heart still belonged to him. It was like having a wound where the scab kept being pulled off, never able to heal and always seeping a bit. It was one of the most painful experiences of my life. So, knowing that an official handparting was out of the question, I made my own ritual.

I took a pouch, (mine was made of red velvet but that was what I had lying around)

I placed my wedding and engagement rings in it.

I placed pennies from my birth year and my ex's birth year and a dime with the year we were married in it.

I carried the pouch with me everywhere for a little over two weeks. That was when I felt I was ready to let it go, individual responses may vary.

Every time I felt any emotion related to my marriage and its failure, I gave it to the coins in the pouch.

When I felt ready to let go, I placed the pouch on my altar and lit a white candle. I let the candle burn out with the pouch in front. My intention was for all the feelings I had to be dissolved and set free. To free me from the bond that kept me tied to my ex

 

After the candle was burned out I took the coins to a place that was special to us, in this case a park, where we went with a group one of the first nights we met, where we ended up on our first date, where we first kissed, where he proposed. I offered the coins to that place. I thanked the gods for allowing me to know love, however brief and fleeting. I took the rings home and placed them in storage. Where they still sit. I'm not sure what to do with them so there they sit.

After this one person handparting I was ready to sign divorce papers and move on with my life. I have moved on to be someone my marriage would never have allowed me to be.